Margaret Kent, author of How to Marry the Man of Your Choice, with her husband, Bob Feinschreiber, during a Toledo appearance to talk about the new edition of the book. ( THE BLADE/LISA DUTTON )

By RHONDA B. SEWELL
BLADE STAFF WRITER

While many women took a break from searching for Mr. Right to climb the corporate ladder, buy their own homes, travel, and serve their communities, author Margaret Kent says many now want to settle down.

They just need a little guidance.

That's where Ms. Kent says she can help. The updated edition of her book, How to Marry the Man of Your Choice, has been released this year by Time Warner. Originally self-published in 1985, the book sold for $95 and came with a money-back guarantee. Today, the new edition lists for $12.95.

Ms. Kent, an attorney who formerly practiced divorce law, says her advice for women on how to marry the man of their choosing hasn't changed much in the two decades since she wrote the first edition. That advice helped her snag her own man.

Ms. Kent is married to Bob Feinschreiber, an international tax attorney and counselor, whom she humorously refers to as "Exhibit A." Both have been previously married and have adult children from their first marriages. Ms. Kent's husband died, and Mr. Feinschreiber and his first wife divorced.

The couple met when Mr. Feinschreiber was married to his first wife. Ms. Kent says she doesn't encourage women to use her advice to lure married men, but she admits that she took the initiative when she met Mr. Feinschreiber at a party thrown in the home of his now ex-wife.

"The woman should take the initiative. If you push him too much he'll reject you and run away. Find out what his real need is," says Ms. Kent, who lives with her husband in Key Biscayne, Fla.

Mr. Feinschreiber, who co-wrote the self-published How To Marry a Superior Woman with Ms. Kent in 1986, says women who have brothers often fare better in landing a husband.

"If they have brothers, they know what guys are really like and women have more realistic expectations of men," Mr. Feinschreiber says.

Ms. Kent, who was in Toledo last week on a media tour to promote her book and its companion Web site www.RomanceRoad.com, adds that her philosophy is based on two premises:

"Your intelligence is your best asset, and that the male ego is not the female ego. The male ego is huge and if he doesn't have anyone to stroke it or to listen to him, then he's lost," she says.

Ms. Kent, with her husband frequently nodding his head in agreement, says women are the primary source of "massaging" the male ego. Learn to do that without sacrificing your intelligence, and you're on your way down the aisle, Ms. Kent says.

"I always tell women, 'You're not selling yourself, you're buying! So shut up and listen to the guy. Be the reporter. Your ears are the sexiest organ,' " she says, adding that many women miss opportunities for relationships because they are seeking perfection in men.

Ms. Kent says she is amazed at the wives who have been married for decades who don't know three simple facts about their husbands: his first car, his first date, and his first job.

"If you don't reach his emotions, how can you listen to him? When you get this down to a science, this whole thing can be a lot of fun," Ms. Kent says.

She adds that it's OK to have an attitude once in a while to let him know that you will not be controlled.

"And also so that he doesn't get bored. Women often wonder why all the bitchy women have the men," Ms. Kent says.

Is her book's premise somewhat outdated, given that many modern women are independent and successful without a man?

Hogwash, Ms. Kent says. "Love is still a need. We all want to love somebody deeply and to be loved. I'm just helping women to select and to get the one they want."

Contact Rhonda B. Sewell at: rsewell@theblade.com
or 419-724-6101.