If you're fishing for a husband, here are 10 tips for reeling in a catch

Sunday, June 05, 2005

But are they good tips?

Charm asks readers with MRS. degrees to decide.

Twenty years after How to Marry the Man of Your Choice spent 16 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, is the author's advice still relevant to women hunting for a husband? Warner Books thinks so. The publisher is reissuing an anniversary edition, so Charm asked Margaret Kent to share her advice with our readers.

Hey, married ladies: Tell us what you think!

We want your thoughts on Kent's advice, below, and we'd like to know your own tips for landing a great hubby. E-mail us at aroyster@pbpost.com or write to The Palm Beach Post, Attn: Charm Friday, P.O. Box 24696, West Palm Beach, Fl, 33416.

Kent's tips, written by the author for Charm readers:

1. Do you avoid talking to men because you fear you aren't attractive enough? In reality, you are 20-30 percent more attractive to men than you think you are. Instead, act like you know you are as attractive as you really are.

2. Tell him why he's unique and special when it's so and he'll be predisposed to falling in love with you. Men quest for praise, but men don't praise one another. Women are typically a man's only source of praise.

3. You don't know who is looking at you with love and longing. Be friendly to all men where you work, conduct your business, and go for recreation. Say hi to everyone. Make it easy for the man who is longing for you to start a conversation with you.

4. If you come along and tell him he's unique and special, you're the woman he's been waiting for! Men are told by their moms that someday a woman will come into his life who will recognize he is unique and special and will make him happy.

5. Diamonds are not a gal's best friend. When a man sees your jewelry, even if it's not an engagement ring, he assumes there is someone special in your life.

6. He's waiting for you to break the ice. If you look like a person who is in control of her life, one who knows what she wants and how to get it, the man will assume that if you wanted to meet him you would say the first hello.

7. Avoid expensive dates. In the beginning, the fellow invests either emotions or money on the date. You want his emotions.

8. Your sexiest organs are your ears. If you encourage a man to talk about himself, and the things that are important and emotional for him, he'll invest all these emotions in you.

9. It wouldn't hurt to know some of his fantasies to see if you can create one. A man greatly values sexual activity with a woman if he believes that his uniqueness causes her passion. Listen to the stories about himself, and you'll know just how and why he views himself as special. Repeat those ideas back to him before your first sexual encounter. If you create intensity for the first encounter it will always be something memorable.

10. Tell him he is capturing your heart. If you are falling in love with him, indicate early on in the relationship that you want him as your spouse. Do this only after he realizes that you are his special someone. A man has little courage to propose to a woman he loves. Often a man will speak of marriage in a negative manner because he doesn't know how else to test you. If he says, "Who wants to be married?" respond "I do, if it were to you."

And the NO. 1 thing you should never do: Never say you want a ring because he may believe you want something materialistic instead of him.